What Is This Behavior Telling Us?

Question 1

What is happening immediately around the behavior?

Behavior does not explain itself. The most useful place to begin is with the events immediately surrounding it. Looking closely at what happened before and afterwards gives us a starting point for considering what the behavior may be communicating and what function it may be serving in that moment.

Start by asking yourself:

• What happened immediately before? (Antecedent)
• What did the child do? (Behavior)
• What happened immediately afterwards? (Consequence)

Note: Here, consequence simply means what happened after the behavior. It does not necessarily mean a punishment, nor does it mean that the adult deliberately rewarded the child.

Imagine that a child begins to cry during play. Crying tells us that something is wrong, but it does not tell us what.

Let's imagine a situation. Another child takes away a toy (antecedent). The child cries (behavior), and a teacher comes over, asks what happened, and helps them get the toy back (consequence). The crying may have brought access to help and interaction with the teacher, as well as access to the toy.

Now imagine the same child crying (behavior) in a different situation. This time, the child has been asked to put away a preferred toy and come to the table for lunch (antecedent). The teacher responds by helping them tidy up and walking with them to the table (consequence). The child still makes the transition, but the crying may have been an attempt to delay something they did not want to do and brought additional help and interaction along the way.

The same behavior has occurred, but the circumstances are different. If we responded to both incidents simply as “crying,” we might miss what the child is finding difficult and what they are learning from our response.

If we spend time analyzing the events that surround children's behavior, we learn very quickly that any behavior, regardless of what it looks like, serves one or more of the following functions:

• gain attention, help, support, or interaction;
• gain access to an item, activity, or experience;
• avoid, escape, or delay something;
• produce a sensory or otherwise enjoyable experience; or
• respond to pain, discomfort, or distress.

These possibilities are not mutually exclusive. A child may want a toy and need help recovering it. They may want to avoid a transition and also want the security of an adult beside them. What the behavior achieves can also change from one situation to another.

Our first explanation is therefore only a working possibility, not a conclusion. One incident can suggest a useful question; a pattern across several incidents gives us more to work with.

This is why it helps to describe what we actually observed. “She cried, pushed the box away, and lay on the floor after being asked to tidy up” gives us something we can examine. “She had a tantrum because she was being difficult” already contains an interpretation that may or may not be correct.

A simple ABC record can help us capture these events while they are still fresh and notice patterns that are difficult to see from memory alone. You can click the link below to access a more detailed description of the record, as well as guidelines on how to use this.

Question 2

What is the bigger picture?

An ABC record brings us close to the behavior. The next question asks us to step back.

Is the behavior happening more often, less often, or about as often as before? Does it occur throughout the day or only during particular activities? Is it happening with different people and in different places, or is it closely connected to one part of the child’s day?

Sometimes the immediate context explains a great deal. At other times, the same situation has been happening for months and the child has only recently begun to struggle with it. That tells us to look beyond the individual incident and ask what else may have changed.

There may be changes within the classroom: a new teacher, a new student, a different routine, a more demanding task, a busier environment, or more children competing for an adult’s attention. There may be difficulties with a particular activity, relationship, or part of the school day. The child may be tired, unwell, or experiencing discomfort that they cannot explain.

There may also be changes elsewhere in the child’s life. A parent may be away, a new sibling may have arrived, family circumstances may have changed, or the child may be living through a stressful or unsettling period. These experiences do not always produce one obvious behavior. They may leave a child generally more sensitive, reactive, or dependent on the support of familiar adults.

This does not mean that teachers need to intrude into a family’s private life. It means remaining curious and making appropriate use of the relationships already surrounding the child. A conversation with parents, caregivers, colleagues, or other members of the support team may reveal something important that no one person could see alone.

The bigger picture does not replace what we learn from the immediate context. A child may still cry to delay a transition or obtain help. But tiredness, illness, uncertainty, or stress may explain why a transition that was manageable last month has become much harder today.

When a change raises a safeguarding concern

Most changes in behavior do not mean that a child is being abused or neglected. However, a marked or unexplained change, particularly when it occurs alongside other concerning signs or something the child has said, should not be treated only as a behavior-management issue.

Record what you have seen or heard in clear, factual language and follow your school’s safeguarding procedure. Do not try to address the problem on your own.

Looking at the bigger picture is not about finding somebody to blame. It is about understanding what may have changed in the child’s world, and whether that change is affecting their ability to manage the demands of the day.

Question 3

Are there skills that need to be taught?

Once we have some idea of what the behavior may be communicating, we can ask whether the child has another way to achieve the same purpose.

A child who cries when another child takes their toy may not know how to ask for help, protect their turn, or negotiate with a peer. A child who becomes distressed at tidy-up time may not know how to ask for another minute, follow the steps involved in putting the activity away, or manage the transition to what comes next. A child who avoids a classroom task may not understand the instructions, know where to begin, or have the academic skills the task requires.

Before treating behavior as unwillingness, ask whether the child can actually do what the situation demands. We cannot manage a child into performing a skill they do not yet have.

Sometimes the missing skill is communication: asking for help, requesting a break, saying “not yet,” choosing between alternatives, or indicating pain and discomfort. Communication does not have to mean speech. Depending on the child, it may involve words, signs, gestures, pictures, or another communication system.

At other times, the child may need to learn how to wait, take turns, move between activities, complete a familiar routine, tolerate a small disappointment, join a group, or work through a difficult task. What looks like refusal can sometimes be uncertainty: the child may not know what to do, how to do it, or how to ask for the support they need.

The replacement skill must work for the child. If crying brings an adult immediately, while asking for help is difficult or frequently overlooked, crying remains the more effective form of communication. The new skill needs to be simple enough for the child to use and consistently recognised when they use it.

These skills are best taught outside the most difficult moment. We can model them, practise them during calmer activities, and provide reminders when the relevant situation begins. At first, the child may need considerable help to use the new response. That support can be reduced as the skill becomes more familiar and reliable.

Knowing a skill and being able to use it under pressure are not always the same thing. A child may ask for help easily when calm but lose access to that ability when tired, frightened, or overwhelmed. In those moments, the answer may involve both teaching the skill and temporarily making the situation easier to manage.

Question 4

Are there changes we can make within the bigger picture?

Teaching the child a new skill may be part of the answer. Sometimes, however, the situation itself needs to change.

Look at the routines, expectations, and environments surrounding the behavior. Is the child being asked to wait for an unnecessarily long time? Is a transition abrupt or unpredictable? Is the task appropriate for what they can currently manage? Are there parts of the day that are consistently rushed, confusing, or difficult?

The child’s sensory profile also matters. Noise, lighting, touch, smells, crowded spaces, or the physical demands of sitting and waiting can affect children very differently. A classroom that feels manageable to most children may be uncomfortable or overwhelming for another child.

Sometimes we need to adapt to those sensory needs. That might mean changing where the child sits, reducing exposure to a particular sound, allowing movement, providing access to a quieter space, or reconsidering how the child is expected to participate in a busy activity. These are not rewards for difficult behavior. They are changes that make the environment more accessible to the child.

We should also consider our analysis of what happens around the behavior. Without intending to, adults may establish patterns in which disruptive behavior becomes the most reliable way to gain attention, obtain help, delay a transition, or escape a difficult task. The answer is not simply to withdraw attention or refuse help. It is to make sure that genuine needs are addressed without allowing the behavior to become the child’s only effective route to getting them met.

Some changes can be made directly within the classroom. Others require discussion with colleagues, learning-support staff, or the child’s caregivers. There may also be circumstances we cannot change: a parent may still need to travel, a family may be going through a difficult period, or the school day may contain unavoidable demands. In those cases, we can consider whether the child temporarily needs greater predictability, flexibility, preparation, or support.

The purpose is not to remove every demand or continually reorganise the classroom around one child. It is to notice when something in the bigger picture is making success unnecessarily difficult, and to decide whether a reasonable change could help.

Once a change has been made, notice what happens. If the child begins to manage the situation more successfully, our understanding may be moving in the right direction. If nothing changes, we may need to reconsider our explanation.

Question 5

Are there relationships we can build or strengthen?

Children do not manage difficult situations entirely on their own. Their ability to cope is affected by who is with them, how safe they feel with that person, and whether they expect that help will be available when they need it.

Begin by asking who the child connects with. Is there an adult they approach when they are uncertain, upset, or overwhelmed? Are there other adults they could learn to trust? Does the child have opportunities to connect with peers, or are they frequently alone, excluded, or involved in conflict?

A child who repeatedly seeks attention is not necessarily trying to manipulate the adults around them. They may be telling us that they need more connection than they are currently receiving, or that they do not yet know how to obtain it successfully. If attention is only reliably available once something has gone wrong, difficult behavior can become one of the child’s most effective ways of bringing somebody close.

We may be able to change that pattern by making connection more available before the child has to ask for it through their behavior. A warm greeting, a brief check-in, an adult noticing what the child is doing, or a predictable moment together can carry considerable weight. These interactions do not need to be lengthy or elaborate. What matters is that the child experiences the adult as interested, available, and reliable.

It is also worth considering whether the relationship has become dominated by instructions, corrections, and difficult moments. This can happen easily when a child needs frequent support. Deliberately creating opportunities for positive contact, with no immediate demand attached, can help restore some balance.

Maintaining a boundary does not require withdrawing warmth. After a difficult incident, the child still needs to know that the relationship remains intact. Reconnecting does not mean approving of everything that happened. It means showing the child that a difficult moment has not changed their place in the relationship.

Relationships with other children matter too. Behavior that looks disruptive may be an unsuccessful attempt to join play, gain another child’s attention, protect an activity, or manage rejection. Adults can help by creating supported opportunities for shared activity and making it easier for positive interaction to succeed.

None of this is about blaming teachers or assuming that a difficult relationship caused the behavior. It is about recognising that relationships are part of the environment in which behavior occurs, and that strengthening them may give the child greater security, more successful ways to connect, and more support when situations become difficult.

Question 6

Do we need to reach out for help?

Sometimes the pattern becomes clear and a relatively small change makes a meaningful difference. At other times, the behavior continues, becomes more serious, or remains difficult to understand. We should not expect one teacher to solve every problem alone.

Reaching out for help does not mean arriving with a firm explanation. It means bringing the question to people who may see something different. A colleague may have noticed that the behavior does not occur in another part of the day. A learning-support teacher may recognise a difficulty with the task. The child’s caregivers may know about changes, preferences, or sources of discomfort that are not visible at school.

These conversations are most useful when we bring clear observations rather than conclusions about the child. Describe what the behavior looks like, when and where it occurs, what tends to happen before and afterwards, whether the pattern is changing, and what has already been tried. ABC records can make these discussions much more productive.

Families should be approached as partners in understanding the child. The purpose is not to report that the child has been “bad” or suggest that something at home must be responsible. It is to compare what different people are seeing and build a more complete picture together.

More formal support may be needed when behavior is persistent, increasing, interfering substantially with learning or relationships, or creating a risk of harm. A learning-support team, psychologist, behavior analyst, or other appropriately qualified professional may be able to conduct a fuller assessment and help develop a coordinated plan.

An ABC record is useful, but it is not a complete functional behavioral assessment. It can reveal patterns and support a working explanation; it cannot prove why a behavior occurs. More complex situations may require observations across people and settings, structured interviews, and a more systematic assessment.

A sudden or substantial change in behavior may also indicate illness, pain, emotional distress, or another concern requiring medical, psychological, or safeguarding support. Follow the appropriate school and local procedures rather than trying to manage every concern through a behavioral plan.

Asking for help is not handing the problem to somebody else. It is widening the circle of people thinking carefully about the child. The aim is to develop a shared understanding, agree on what to try, and make sure that the child receives a consistent response from the adults around them.